Wednesday, May 19


Some quick (ha, don't I always say that?) stuff:

I'm maintaining at 101-102 lbs right now. Eating every few days. No one's really bothering me about it, but they know when I suck in air it's because my heart hurts and I see the looks they give each other. They think I'll start eating again soon, and maybe I will.

A bunch of people are coming over Friday for Chinese food and swimming. I'm already arguing with myself about how much I'll eat, but the real problem is how naked I will get. It'll be fun, though: a friend is bringing another Julian, she says he's a lot like me. I've heard that before, haven't I?

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We're building another barn. Hopefully it'll be finished by mid-July. We'll be able to hold another 20-30 horses with it.

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My answers to "the questions":

Who am I?

Marlboro reds in a box
Piebalds and little space boys
Picking them up and putting them down
with miles and miles to go
How shall I live?

Faithfully.
With hope and a pinch of salt
Always striving, marching on ahead for...better
With words and pictures on my hands & tongue
What, in the end, is really important?

Loving, learning, laughing
Forgetting to shave because there are more important things to do
Gaining knowledge from my children
Not taking anything to my grave
Letting love be like a plague
Knowing myself intensely
Knowing someone else intensely
Needless to say, I was in a rather strange, half-awake mood when the questions were asked.

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Who has influenced me in this life? My mother, even though I never knew her. The prophets. People who changed history. People who changed anything, however small. The women I've loved and the men I haven't. People who said good words.

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And, finally, the teasing question asked by the girl with orange hair: "So, are you a virgin?"

No.

I can say it without an explanation.

And, "I heard......is it true?"

Yes.

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