Monday, April 19


I'm glad I wrote the previous entry when I did, otherwise it would be lost to me forever.

Zing zing, goes the mood, and it's all down the drain.

I find it amazing that he can lie so blatantly to people he says he loves. The scary thing? I don't know if these "people" he's lying to are me -- or everyone else. Because someone is getting bullshitted. I hope it's not me, but if it's not, am I going to have to worry forever? Am I going to forever be wondering where his loyalty lies?

"Don't go, Quim," said Novinha, and he replied, "These are my mothers and my brothers." And Miro, too: "These are my brothers! Kill me first!"

Why do I keep going back to this? Why do I keep thinking of this reference to a reference, Ender and his maddening patience -- all tying in with Orson and his bigotry --

It's not fitting together yet, what this all means. It will, though, and I'm deathly afraid that the picture I see is going to injure me.

I'll survive though, you know? The lesson I have yet to learn/about boys and their toys and then something about, I'm screaming your name inbetween the choking and will you be there when I'm dying?

Still don't know the answer.

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